It’s always a challenge to figure out what to say and do…..
Here’s what will help me:
Say: “I love you” (if you do!), “I like you” (an acceptable alternative), or “I try to tolerate you” (something that may even be a struggle for some of you!)
Ask: “How are you doing?” Sometimes I’ll want to talk about it and I will. If I don’t start talking about my treatment or cancer…it just means I don’t want to….or can’t. I hope you’ll respect that. It’s about my emotional energy…not whether or not I like you enough to talk about it.
Do: Show your love to Theresa, Kelsey and Keenan. Cancer is a family thing. I have doctors and people who will focus on me. We will all need family and friends (and the occasional bottle of wine for Tee…)
Do: Give me hugs. No words are needed. Actions speak louder than words, eh?
Do: Laugh – at me or with me. It’s all good. I really do believe that laughter is the best medicine. Corny…but true.
Things that might not be so helpful…even though you mean them well:
Nearly anything about lymphoma that you might find on the internet-please don’t send them my way. There’s just too much scary stuff online.
Telling me about other people and their struggles with lymphoma or cancer in general. I need to stay focused on my own journey. (I think that when you have cancer you get to be a bit “selfish” in this way.)
Recommending a different hospital, doctor, etc. We are comfortable with our choices and don’t want to spend time second guessing. Healing will take enough focus.
Thank you for your support – silent or expressed. It means everything….