It’s always a challenge to figure out what to say and do…..

Here’s what will help me:

Say: “I love you” (if you do!), “I like you” (an acceptable alternative), or “I try to tolerate you” (something that may even be a struggle for some of you!)

Ask: “How are you doing?” Sometimes I’ll want to talk about it and I will.  If I don’t start talking about my treatment or cancer…it just means I don’t want to….or can’t.  I hope you’ll respect that. It’s about my emotional energy…not whether or not I like you enough to talk about it.

Do: Show your love to Theresa, Kelsey and Keenan. Cancer is a family thing. I have doctors and people who will focus on me. We will all need family and friends (and the occasional bottle of wine for Tee…)

Do: Give me hugs.  No words are needed.  Actions speak louder than words, eh?

Do: Laugh – at me or with me. It’s all good. I really do believe that laughter is the best medicine. Corny…but true.

Things that might not be so helpful…even though you mean them well:

Nearly anything about lymphoma that you might find on the internet-please don’t send them my way.  There’s just too much scary stuff online.

Telling me about other people and their struggles with lymphoma or cancer in general.  I need to stay focused on my own journey. (I think that when you have cancer you get to be a bit “selfish” in this way.)

Recommending a different hospital, doctor, etc.  We are comfortable with our choices and don’t want to spend time second guessing.  Healing will take enough focus.

Thank you for your support – silent or expressed. It means everything….


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